Crap.

 Well... I know what I'm doing here. I'm listening to a broken record. 

Me.

But, really, what am I doing here? 

Besides riding the Ferris Wheel of the blame game and throwing stones from my piles of broken glass. 

I sometimes sound like I'm ringing the alarm for an awful upbringing, in a seedy neighborhood with wretched trolls posing as family. 

Sometimes that's what it felt like...and 'feelings are valid'. 

(Learned that in therapy). 

But what role did I play? 

It goes back to Radical Acceptance. Owning your shit. Owning the part you played. 

(Learned that in therapy).  

How the hell did I really get here?

It's quite the list, I'm going to be honest. 

As a professional secret keeper I have a long list of secrets. 

Luckily, that's what I'm good at: 

lists and secrets. 

If I keep slinging mud and name calling whilst not 'radically accepting' the role I've played in this game called life, I'll never get to the good part. 

People say life is not a game, but it is most certainly a game. 

It's like Craps. A game within a game, within a game, within a game. There are over four hundred bets on a Craps table. No one knows what game the person next to them is playing, everyone is superstitious and no one is actually playing against you. It's a literal and figurative crapshoot.

                           'Yo!' 

I was playing in a game I should have been participating in. I was participating in bad timing, poor tact, illegal formations, and all kinds of other foul shiiiiii*. 

This is why radical acceptence is important. It's owning your shit. It's knowing when to play and when to participate. It's being confident in your secret mistakes. So, I look forward to listing my mistakes with confidence. 

It'll take some time. 

And timing is a bitch.